


The Claddagh Ring

by galaxyofwomen



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, I Made Myself Cry, One Shot, POV Third Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:54:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27511894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxyofwomen/pseuds/galaxyofwomen
Summary: Some of the times Jamie touched her ring like _that_.
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 3
Kudos: 46





	The Claddagh Ring

**Author's Note:**

> I have been thinking about Jamie touching her ring like _that_ since I first watched the show. It won't leave my head, the thought of the times she did it, the reasons why she did it. So I had to write this.

The tips of her middle finger and her thumb quietly reach the gold ring still adorning her left hand. They caress the piece and slowly turn it to one side and then the other, until it's back in its original place. 

The first time she did it was later that day, when Dani proposed. When she retrieved the ring from between those roots, her hands dirty when Dani slid it on her finger and they kissed between grins and tears, almost setting the house on fire for they completely forgot about the pans on the stove. After they ate together and laid down to watch a movie before going to bed, Jamie, all curled up agaisnt Dani, couldn't help but play with the ring on her finger. It was beautiful, and Jamie knew its meaning - love, loyalty and friendship. Suddenly, as she placed the ring perfectly on her finger and stared at it, her heart was filled with so much love and joy that, for a moment, she forgot about the greater circumstances. And Dani seemed to feel it too, for she looked back immediately when Jamie looked up - eyes tired, and never entirely hers, but, oh, so hers, and so reciprocating of all the things Jamie felt. 

Realization, though, only kicked in a week later. Jamie was setting up some requested flower arrangements for a young couple's private engagement party when her eyes fell to her finger. The feeling floored her completely, almost too overwhelming that she had to stop working. So she just rested agaisnt the flowershop counter and reached for the ring with the tip of her fingers, delicately twisting it just to put it back in place. It couldn't feel more right - "You are my best friend and the love of my life", Dani had said, and Jamie had immediately agreed it was reciprocated, and it felt just right to have that, a physical symbol of how they were indeed going to spend the rest of their lives together. She was smiling broadly and sighing loudly when a costumer stepped in, preventing the tears from clouding her eyes.

Once, when they went out to have a few drinks, Dani saw a young lady shamelessly hit on Jamie, and it didn't matter that Jamie quickly stepped out of it, it was enough for a jealous moment Jamie had never seen before. Dani refused to talk to her, to a point in which Jamie herself, hurt for being wronged, didn't try anymore either. But, as she stepped into her shower, her fingers reached the ring again. Opposite to how her mind wanted her to feel, hurt, enraged, the tip of her fingers were ever so soft when meeting the golden piece. When her eyes fell to it, they were already filled with tears. Dani was just scared to lose her before she would have to inevitably, and Jamie knew it. So she gave up on her shower and decided that that night she was going to prove Dani she wasn't leaving, if not with words, in whatever ways she would listen.

On a boring, trivial weekday, a costumer casually commented on the ring, complimenting it and trying to start a conversation about engagements, clearly nervous about his own. They kept on with the light conversations until the costumer was content enough with the flowers Jamie helped him choose, her fingers toying with the ring the entire time, a reflex to his comment at first, but then as an afterthought, a gesture that, subconsciously, brought warmth to Jamies heart. And so it would be, on trivial weekdays, on boring work hours, Jamie would just look up at Dani, just to watch as she smiled back at her from where she stood doing whatever, as her fingers repeated themselves in a loopy afterthought. 

Then the lady of the lake was back at some point. Jamie only became aware when Dani dropped a plate at their feet, terrified of a reflection only she could see in their kitchen sink, but it had been a while since the first time Dani saw her again. And the thought haunted Jamie as she calmed Dani down and managed to put her to bed, holding her tight, almost as tight as Dani clenched her own eyes shut, hoping to sleep and not see the lady again. Eventually, Dani slept, more out of exhaustion than anything else, Jamie thought. However, Jamie couldn't sleep, so she stayed there, holding Dani in her arms, daydreaming as her fingers played with the ring almost against her will. The worst thoughts clouded her mind, the worst feelings filled her heart, but it only took a glance at the woman resting in her arms, the woman she loved more than anything in her life, and she was reminded of the promise she silently made her when she put that ring on her finger. "One day at a time", Jamie said quietly to herself, as she once had done to Dani, "one day at a time".

And one day at a time they tried to live their lives, until one day Jamie got hold of the papers that added legal meaning to the ring she had been proudly carring around. She glanced at it, shining in her hand that firmly held the steering wheel as she sit in her car and prepared to turn on the engine and drive back home. Before she turned the key, she sat back, her hand slowly dropping from the steering wheel to rest on her lap. Her fingers started the motion she was used to doing by now, adjusting the ring as to make sure it was there, as she looked at the envelope she cautiously placed on the passenger seat by her side. Their civil union. When Dani asked her hand in marriage, she didn't even think it would be possible for them one day. They would wear the rings and they would know. And Jamie knew, everytime she subconsciously touched the ring and smiled despite herself, she knew.

But she also knew the civil union didn't extend their time together, for she didn't even have the time to celebrate with Dani before she had to kneel beside her by their overfilled bathtub and promised she would feel everything for the both of them if she had to. Then it was another night of Jamie putting an exhausted Dani to sleep, only, this time, the feeling of the ring rotating against the cold skin of her finger didn't feel comforting, it was a terribly anxious movement, that reflected the overwhelming feeling that took over her, that made her hold on to Dani for dear life as tears violently left her eyes without any warning.

And Jamie wished she could hold on to Dani like that forever - she wished she had, when she woke up to an empty bed and a note on their bedside table, immediately aware of what it meant. Her heart was filled with such pain she didn't know what to do next, even if she had gone through this moment more times than she wished she had in her worst nightmares. All she could feel was pain, as her body quietly shivered on the bed, surrounded by blankets that still smelled like Dani, and when she couldn't see anything anymore, for the tears wouldn't stop coming, and her hiccups and gasps wouldn't let her breathe, her fingers reached to one another like finding that ring and feeling it there was the only thing that could keep her grounded, like holding on to that ring meant she would get to hold on to Dani again.

It was with such feeling that Jamie went to the grounds of Bly one last time. It was with such feeling that Jamie took a deep breath, her hands clenched in fists, and stepped into the cold lake. She remembered the last time she did it, the night it all happened, it all changed. When Dani gave her life away - when they were just about to start theirs. When she held Dani and Flora in her arms and promised it was okay, it was going to be okay. But it never really was, and she knew it as she looked at Dani one last time, begging to be taken by her, begging to be drowned with her, to be with her again. But Dani wouldn't let her, she wouldn't let Jamie give her life away like Dani herself once did. When Jamie reemerged, it still felt like she was drowning, her lungs squeezed tight as a new wave of pain hit her, with the inconsolable feeling of despair that came with realization. Her trembling fingers made their way to the ring again, and, even though it didn't ease the pain at all, Jamie kept toying with it, not even aware of how long for, until it was nighttime. It took her a while to realize what she was doing - waiting for Dani to come out and take her. But she never did.

So Jamie tried to move on. She tried to carry on with her life as Dani once made her promise she would. She put all her attention in her work, dedicating herself to her flowershop entirely, sometimes finding some space to let the few friends she and Dani had made over the years approach and comfort her however they could. However, every night, she would find herself staring at the ring she refused to take off, waves of memories and possibilities of things that never got to happen washing over her, when trying not to drown in pain and loneliness made the remembrance so hurtful it made Jamie question if she could really make it. 

At some point, Jamie started looking at reflections, trying to see Dani, like Dani used to see the lady that haunted her. She wouldn't remember then, she wouldn't think of the things that happened, not even of when Dani cried in her arms after seeing the ghost again in her own reflection. Jamie would just numbly stare and wait, her heart steady and her fingers lazily caressing the golden ring, until something took her out of her thoughts, or until she fell asleep.

The next year, Owen reached out to Jamie, inviting her to spend new years eve with him in Paris. It was a more than welcomed feeling, to be next to someone who was there with her when it mattered, someone who knew, someone who wouldn't ask what happened, who would know how it felt and how to silently comfort her. In the first night of the new year, Owen took Jamie to a beautiful garden, with some of the most beautiful flowers Jamie had ever seen. Among them, one that immediately knocked the air out of her lungs. When Jamie abruptly stopped in her tracks and just stood there in the middle of the garden, Owen didn't understand, _that_ he didn't know, but he also didn't question. He just stayed back and waited, watched, as Jamie quietly sighed and smiled, apparently not even noticing her own tears. The moonflowers seemed to shine under the moonlight, they seemed to stare at Jamie, right back. So Jamie stayed there, crying, grinning, tenderly touching her ring - she allowed herself to remember again, to think of the 13 years she spent with the one person who was worth her effort. This time, the remembrance was pure lightness, it was joy and thankfulness for the time she got with the love of her life, with her best friend, that she loved so much, and loved her back just the same, enough to want to spend the unknown time she had left of her life with her. 

Now, the tips of her middle finger and her thumb quietly reach the golden ring still adorning her left hand. They caress the piece and slowly turn it to one side and then the other, until it's back in its original place. The swift action warms Jamie's heart, so she smiles at the people happily chatting around her, glad to be remembering, and willing to share, for the remembrance keeps Dani alive. 

When the room falls silent for a second, Jamie speaks. 

"I have a story."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Any feedback is welcome.


End file.
